Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Not-So-Curiouse Case Of The Vomit On The Bathmat


Let me set the scene for you. Its dark, you’ve just come home from work, slipped off your shoes and removed those cold wet socks. You wiggle your bare toes on the carpet, relieved to be out of the damp shoes. With a happy stride you head to the bathroom to change into your pajamas. As you step through the door, you feel an inexplicable wet gooey mass between your toes. You look down. Yes. Yes, that’s cat vomit. Yes. Yes, you’re barefoot.

Does this ever happen to you? I happened to me last night. It happened to me last week too. Cleo throws up a lot. I have her on this special food and everything, and she still vomits about once a week, if not more. Sometimes it’s just hairballs, which are gross enough, but it’s usually full on vomit. I think she does it as a little reminder that she holds the power. I mean, she sits up on the bathroom counter and stares down at me regally while I’m cleaning up her half-digested meal. This has to be part of her world domination plan, I just know it.

So, back to my story. If you’ve forgotten where we were, I was barefoot in the bathroom and had just stepped in a pile of cat vomit and it had already oozed between my toes. Lovely. Luckily I was in the bathroom, so I hopped over to the tub on my clean foot and quickly washed off the extremity that was covered in the offending substance. Then I turned around with the sinking realization that I would have to clean the bathmat, on which the vomit lay. I grudgingly got the trash can and some paper towels and transferred the up-chuck from the mat into the trash. I then set to scrubbing the mat, attempting to remove any traces of my cat’s breakfast.

When I was done, I was still not convinced that I wanted to stand on that mat with bare, clean feet. “Ah”, I thought “I’ll flip it over!” I proceeded with my plan, but as I did so, another sinking realization descended upon me. I realized that that was what I had done the last time. Come to think of it, I think that’s what I did the time before that too. With this realization, there came another. I would have to do laundry.

My apartment complex has a laundry room, which is nice except for the part where it's coin operated. Coin operated laundry is evil. Yeah Yeah, I know, I should probably just be thankful that I don’t have to drive to a laundromat, but I’d prefer to complain about it. Let me tell you, $1.50 for a wash and $1.25 for a dry will add up pretty darn quick. So, while I wanted to wash the bathmat by itself, seeing as it was encrusted with vomit, the miser in me decided that there was no way I was going to spend $2.75 to launder a single bath mat. So, while the squeamish Rachel was writhing in agony, the miserly Rachel was making a pile of my sheets and towels to wash with the bat mat.

Miserly Rachel won, and this morning I coughed up $2.75 and washed the mat, my sheets, and all my towels.  How exciting! Stay tuned next week- who knows what I’ll have to wash next! 

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