Thursday, May 30, 2013

Brief Interviews With Mangled Victims

Alasse, Cleo’s current roommate

I love her.
She hits me and I like it.
It’s a game, I know it is. I just have to figure it out and then we’ll be best friends and she will love me forever.
Frank, Cleo's Former Roommate 
Lived with her for over a year. Over a year! Tried to pay her visits, but no one got near her room without an invitation. I'd stop by just to say hi and she'd chase me off. Rude.

John, Cleo's Former House Guest

It was 2AM, so I was on the toilet. What I didn’t know was that she was in her box taking a dump. And then she just flew out and went straight for the ankles.
Ricky, Cleo's Former Roommate
Satan. Satan.
Oh man. But there was this one time I got Anthony so good. I didn’t tell him we called her Satan. Just told him to go and say hi to Rachel’s cat. So he got up in her bed and that fucking cat just launched herself at him, all hissing and shit. Never seen a grown ass man jump horizontally across a room like that before.

Monty, Cleo's Current Roommate
She lies on my terrarium all the time. She likes the heat, just like me. Doesn’t even say thanks for utilizing my lamp. Just basks and leaves. Not a word. I do like to watch her hit the dog though. Good times.
Lyra, Cleo's Current Roommate

Oh, I gave her the benefit of the doubt for a while. They told me she was snooty, to good for the likes of us. But I tried to introduce myself, more than once actually. She ran away. She actually ran away when I tried to- Is that cream cheese? I think you have some cheese on your face, I can clean that up for you…

Cathy, Cleo's Current Roommate 

Never cared too much for her. She doesn’t care for me. I don’t like the way she treats Alasse. That dog is mine to taunt.

Prints and original illustrations available here

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