Sunday, May 12, 2013

The Things My Mother Told Me


2.       Date and dump. Date and dump. Date and dump.

3.       If it’s edible, you can steam it. Broccoli? Steam it. Potato? Steam it. Bratwurst? Steam it.

4.       Dogs are important.

5.       It’s just money.

6.       Ice cream day is every day.

7.       When things go to shit, say “Hmmm, that’s interesting.”

8.       It’s just stuff, it’s just a thing.

9.       If you’re having too much fun, get a hotel and stay there.

10.   Let the horse know you’re behind him. Run your hand across his butt when you walk behind him. That way he’ll know you’re there.

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